I think I've gotten past the homesickness hump... progress!
It's not like I don't miss home anymore, I definitely still do. I miss the proximity of my friends and family, English slang, the certainty that I won't get culturally misunderstood, and I really really really miss online shopping. I'm not a shop-a-holic at baseline but, man, I wish I could easily get another pair of Asics running shoes or take advantage of the H&M and REI sales all over my newsfeed.
Despite missing all of this, my anxiety is definitely decreasing!
And it started when I heeded my perfectionist mother's advice, I just need to care less. I've given up trying to be the perfect foreigner that agrees to everything and just smiles and nicely nods her head to everything. Now that my spanish is improving, I'm starting to ask for clarification, to explain my perspective, and to exercise a little rebellion. I have finally fully explained to my chilean family that I DO LIKE SALAD, but I don't vibe with the Chilean trend of eating salad after a meal so I just don't! (I promise I do like lettuce! Actually fuck that. Lettuce with avocado is a boring salad.) My friend and I went out to the same bar twice this weekend and didn't come home until 4-5 am both nights!!! I'm getting over heartbreaks, and the chilean guys are showing me that they can be just as silly as american guys (so they deserve the same eye rolls. They can kiss my "me encant"ASS). I'm channeling boredom into my running, and finally just yesterday after a month of training, I didn't feel exhausted after my run, I felt exhilarated! So now I'm looking into 10Ks and half marathons. I'm still terrified trying my spanish on new chileans I just met, but WHATEVER. Caring is exhausting.
After one more week of living with the cats in Talca, I'll be moving to Linares. Linares is home to the hospital where the Universidad Autonoma students do their rotations. So I'll be living closer to my colleagues which will help the loneliness. And I'll be working with OBGYN patients!! delivering a few babies, teaching women how to kegel, inserting a few IUDs, treating a few PID/TOAs, being second surgeon on a few c-sections... I cannot wait.
**The attitude of this blog post is brought to you by Florence and the Machine, which the lovely cafe employee is playing for me.**